He Just Doesnt Get It: How to Help Your Mate Understand & Love Your Natural Hair
by Adrienne Brown, Me My Hair & the City
Transitioning to natural hair or simply wearing your hair in its natural state can present a number of challenges. However, the transition, or even the hair-care learning curve, isn’t the greatest challenge women with natural hair face. For some, that obstacle is convincing a loved one to be accepting and understanding of their choice to wear their hair naturally.
No one person is exempt; these “not so supportive” loved ones can be friends, co-workers even family members. But, believe it or not, a large majority of naturalistas find their biggest naysayers to be their significant others. He became accustomed to you wearing your hair a certain way and the change has come as a bit of a shock. He doesn’t know why you “went natural” and refuses to accept your decision. Basically, he just doesn’t get it. Whatever the reasoning for your lover’s lack of a hair welcoming spirit, there are ways to turn his frown upside down.
Tell Him How You Feel
It’s easy to shut down when your mate makes an undesirable comment or even expresses his dissatisfaction with your mane. However, since the gift of mind reading seems to have only been issued to superheroes, the only way for him to know how his words or lack of support affect you is to tell him.
Take a moment and have a calm chat with your mate. Express how his disposition toward your tresses makes you feel. Creating an open and honest dialogue with your beau can give him insight into your emotions and cause him to be more cautious with his words and generous with his moral support.
As human beings, it’s hard for us to understand topics that we know nothing about. If your mister is willing, give him a crash course in natural hair.
Explain to him why you choose not to use sulfates, place conditioner on your hair before you shampoo, or have a tub of coconut oil in your bathroom medicine cabinet.
Giving your partner the “inside scoop” on natural hair will make him well versed and more understanding of your hair decisions.
Make Him A Part of the Process
We all want to feel included. The same can be said for your mate in regards to your hair.
Realistically, he may not be willing to go on a two-hour product prowl. Combing the shelves of the hair-care aisle may not be his “cup of tea.” But, he just might be interested in helping you pick out your next hairstyle.
Make a conscious effort to include your sweetie in your hair process. Ask him if he would like to help you wash your mane. Combine activities; while you are cuddled up on the couch watching your favorite TV show, twist your locs and see if he would like to join in on the fun.
Whatever you do, let your significant other know that his opinion about your hair matters, and you welcome his positive involvement. Doing so could open up the doors to a hair love like never before.
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